Going to my last class. It’s been a long week and it’s only halfway over 😒 #tired #lastclass #composition (at St. Petersburg College: Clearwater)
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
7) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8) Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac.
9) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
10) School lunches stick to the wall.
11) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
12) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
13) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look..
For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an
aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
4) Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
5) The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let
the air out of their tires.
6) Families are like fudge … mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
7) Remember the strong oak tree in your backyard is just a nut that held its ground.
8) Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.
9) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
10) My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
11) If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.
about growing old:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
3) You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder
what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) Perhaps you know why women over fifty don’t have babies: They would
put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
6) One of life’s mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make person
gain five pounds.
7) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
8) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
9) Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
10) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat are really good friends.
11) Age doesn’t always bring wisdom.Sometimes age comes alone.
12) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
13) Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
14) Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually
be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
The Four Stages of Life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
McDonald’s Restaurant in Vinita, Oklahoma, USA. Built in 1957 over Interstate 44, it was the largest McDonald’s in the world at that time. Starting last year in the summer of 2013, officials drew up plans to demolish the facility due to occurring disrepair of the structure. But the new building will be designed in the same fashion by having an arched dining room over the highway. The new one should be completed by summer of 2014.
The growth of the United States from 1780 to now. It’s amazing how much of it was organized in only 238 years
Follow my dawg Josh on Instagram @BigPapaJoshua. He’s musically talented and overall, very chill
Most people use public Restrooms to go “Number Two” as a last resort due to the amount of other people using them a day. But I especially HATE it because, well, being a guy who’s 6’6, I have a taller toilet at home designed for wheelchairs. It fits me better lol. But I hate public Restrooms because THE TOILETS ARE ALWAYS TINY. Why??? Why do people think the midgets of Oz are roaming around everywhere in need of a good shit-release? It’s a pain! I understand this is weird and a little TMI for the people of Tumblr, but it needed to be called out upon. Not only for the people on tumblr, but the people of the world, as well.